hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Everclear isn't food dammit
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
