Where did you get a picture of my penis
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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