U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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