at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
