do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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