People in love make me want to vomit
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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