he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
