I think i sorta joined a cult last night
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
