We're like a lot better than the average bears
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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