she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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