Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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