My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Boobs are out for the taking
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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