Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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