I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
