yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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