do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
