the condom got lost in my hair
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Are we still banned from the library?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
