She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
