did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
