It was confusing and full of hummus
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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