shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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