Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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