you will always have a special place in my vag
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
