So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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