Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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