omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Randomize
