I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
