Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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