The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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