16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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