My nipple is on Facebook.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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