just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize