I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
