i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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