it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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