How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
