scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
