Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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