wat bout pragnant strippers??
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
