Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
