did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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