Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
