This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
