Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
