Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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