Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
