Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
