I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
