You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
