Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
