This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We are two peas in an std pod
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
