I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I accidentally had phone sex last night
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
