Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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