i don't plan on having that self control this summer
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
