i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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