love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
